Every man is going to be something. Be a Southern gentleman.

A Brotherhood of Gentlemen

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Learning the skills of how to deal with people – especially those who are closest to you – is something that few of us come by naturally. The Brotherhood of Gentlemen is our attempt to be both student and teacher as we learn the skills of the gentleman. Consider forming a similar group among the aspiring gentlemen that you know.


Our Brotherhood of Gentlemen is a group of Brothers in Christ (Saved, Born-Again Christians) who believe in the importance of being gentlemen. Our particular group is based around those who fellowship at THE BIBLE Baptist Church in DeLand, Florida. We have decided to limit our number to a maximum of six gentlemen. Why that number? Because six can be comfortably seated around a dinner table and have a meaningful discussion.

This is a mentoring process, so all ages 18 and up may be included, with relationship status being married, engaged, or single. Many of the younger gentlemen will likely also be students at the DeLand School of THE BIBLE. As openings become available, invitations are extended to those who have demonstrated a willingness to commit to improving their lives – not simply being in need of improvement (we all are in need of improvement). I am now a grandfather in my 60’s, and this is what I wish I knew when I was in my 20’s.

 

Our Objectives:

  • To be better leaders and role models in our communities and in our families.
  • To be better Christians, better men, better husbands, better fathers/grandfathers, and for the single men, better boyfriends/fiancées.
  • To be more successful in our chosen careers for both our personal satisfaction and for the financial well-being of our families.
  • To hold each other accountable.
  • To understand and take seriously our duties and responsibilities to our wives and families.
  • To learn and put into practice the manners and etiquette that are a part of our cultural heritage.

 

The rules we agree to follow when we gather as a group:

  • We will never complain or talk about our wife/girlfriend/fiancée in a disrespectful or condescending or complaining manner.
  • We will never make excuses for our failures. Failures are expected, and the proper response is to learn from the experience and make sure it doesn’t happen again.
  • When discussing personal challenges, we will follow the maxim first coined by British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli: “Never Complain; Never Explain”.
  • We will not discuss others outside of the group unless it is to hold them up as an example to follow, nor will we discuss personal matters outside the group.
  • We will remain focused on the task at hand and not allow this to become just a social gathering.
  • We will not allow this group to duplicate other groups; it will not be another Bible study group or another self-help group.
  • We will dress appropriately when gathered together as a group.
  • We will meet one evening each month on a set schedule, and will make every effort to arrange our personal schedule to include this dinner gathering. Each gathering will last no longer than two hours.
  • We understand that every worthwhile endeavor requires a commitment. If circumstances do not permit a member to commit the time and effort required, that gentleman will step aside to make way for another to join the group.

 

Our Basic Agenda When Gathering Together:

  • Opening prayer
  • Review the previous month’s topics
  • Discuss this month’s topics
  • Closing prayer

Topics for the month will be matters that we decide to focus on for the coming month – not in generalities, but by taking specific action. Some examples:

  • networking
  • building leadership skills
  • maintaining health and personal fitness
  • personal finance
  • etiquette and manners
  • time management
  • getting organized
  • remembering names
  • being a good guest when visiting others
  • being a good host
  • the basics of dressing well
  • ways to make our wives feel loved and appreciated
  • teaching our children and grandchildren the ways of a gentleman or lady
  • managing the home
  • providing for and keeping our families safe
  • being a better leader at work and other venues

There will be reading assignments that each member is expected to complete that should take no more than one hour per month. Some of the books we may be reading or referring to are:

  • Essential Manners for Men
  • A Gentleman Gets Dressed Up – What to Wear, When to Wear it, How to Wear it
  • How To Be A Gentleman – A Contemporary Guide to Common Courtesy
  • As a Gentleman Would Say – Responses to Life’s Important (and sometimes awkward) Situations
  • Little Black Book of Connections (networking)
  • Win The Crowd (confidence building and the art of persuasion)
  • How to Get Your Point Across in 30 Seconds
  • Moonwalking With Einstein (memory development)
  • The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership
  • The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader
  • The 48 Laws of Power (how power can be used by and against you)
  • Leadership Lessons of Robert E. Lee

 

Other Activities:

  • Emails will be sent periodically to each gentleman in the group with reminders and things to consider regarding our objectives.

 

Advice From GOD:

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Ephesians 5:25-28

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
I Peter 3:7

Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Colossians 3:19

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
I Corinthians 7:3-4

Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Proverbs 5:18

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
I Timothy 2:9

Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers’ with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?
Proverbs 5:15-20

Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
Proverbs 31:28

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
Hebrews 13:4

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.
Proverbs 18:22

And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Matthew 19:4-6